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BlackFire045's Journal



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5 entries this month
 

Amazon

04:31 Jun 07 2016
Times Read: 302


I went on Amazon for the first time in my entire life and I regret it. I regret it so much. First of all, I don't have a job so I'm poor as FUCK and can't afford ANYTHING on my wish list. Second of all, I am looking for a job but no one is hiring me, soooo. I'm basically fucked.



Does anyone wanna be my sugar daddy? ^.^


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WishBone
WishBone
07:04 Jun 07 2016

i love amazon it is so addicting to shop their i think i spend way to much lol





 

Women.

06:11 Jun 03 2016
Times Read: 325


Sometimes I crave the touch of a woman more than I do a man. Even though I've never been with one, I often daydream about what it would be like to love another woman. There are times when I feel as though I know what it would be like, like I've already experienced it, but I know that's not true. Men desire me more than women do. However, wiithout hesitation I would be with another woman. Gender has no meaning to me.


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Insecurities?

05:52 Jun 02 2016
Times Read: 335


I wouldn't say that I've always struggled with loving my body. Growing up around other girls who hated their bodies because they didn't have small waists, big perky boobs, flat stomachs, and cute butts ultimately helped to nuture and grow my own insecurities about my own body. There are times where I've absolutely adored my body, and other times where I've hated my body completely. Being sexually and physically abused from the ages 7 to 15 didn't really help with me maintaining a positive body image as well. Depression and anorexia were just another contributing factor. Now that I'm older and that I've matured and healed from most of those insecurities, I like to think that I'm a lot more positive about my body than I ever was. My boobs are small but cute. My butt is small but toned. My thighs are nice. My arms are neat. My stomach isn't completely flat but I like how it's kind of fluffy. I have a long way to go before I learn to accept every individual thing about my body, but I like to hope I'm getting somewhere.


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Wrath1972
Wrath1972
08:58 Jun 06 2016

I am truly sorry to hear about the abuse in your past. But you are a strong woman who has survived. You are beautiful and I am sure you can beat the depression you are dealing with. Stay strong.





Wrath1972
Wrath1972
08:59 Jun 06 2016

I am truly sorry to hear about the abuse in your past. But you are a strong woman who has survived. You are beautiful and I am sure you can beat the depression you are dealing with. Stay strong.





BlackFire045
BlackFire045
21:17 Jun 10 2016

Thank you so much :)





 

Thoughts

05:39 Jun 02 2016
Times Read: 337


So many things have happened in the past 2 or so years. Right now I'm lost and confused about everything, but at the same time, I'm trying my best to live everyday as they come. I am depressed, undeniably. I sleep for hours, night and day. When I do manage to get out of bed, it's only to shower or play video games or eat. I rarely eat as it is. Trying to find a job is difficult and I'm not in school anymore, so I'm waiting until the fall for when classes resume. It probably doesn't help that I'm anemic xD


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Fuckboy

05:35 Jun 02 2016
Times Read: 339


I had my first experience with a fuckboy a few days ago. We'd been talking for 2 months or something before I kind of started to like him. 3 days ago a girl commented on one of my pictures and said something like "Wow really I fucking knew you were cheating" and so I messaged her because I was like what the fuck. Anyway she showed me screenshots of the things he was saying to her and he was saying the same things to me. Long story short I blocked him as soon as I knew what he was doing, but he messaged me on a second account and started spewing crap like "I've wanted to leave you for so long" I was just like...lol okay. I didn't consider us to be in a relationship but apparently he did. The girl he was "cheating" on me with was a Daddy/Little Girl fetish account. Can't really say it was a loss that he "cheated"? xD She's fucking stupid anyway and she's still with him soooo...what can ya do.


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